What’s helpful for you?

Whatever may be “helpful” for you is subject to whatever is happening for you right now. For some, their day-to-day life role has a lot of intensity, connectedness, demands, responsibility. For folks in that situation, getting away from everything is going to be the thing that body, mind, soul needs. Then, there’s the other case — a lot of jobs feel like “email factories,” where one may be sending off digital notes into a black hole, with little or no feedback or response. Many in those situations finish their days craving attention, connection, emotional and physical engagement.

A central theme of “person centered” counseling is the assumption that the client knows best what is good for them. The curiosity, the open space given to the client in these types of therapeutic spaces can lead to some helpful exploration of what is helpful in the first place. There’s no right or wrong answer, for a client in therapy, to identify what is helpful, what is going to feel like “healing.” The picture of health necessarily includes all of the parts of a person’s life, both internal and external. There’s no one-size-fits-all picture.

When you search for and explore with yourself what you need in this moment, be open to whatever comes up. Sometimes there’s guilt that comes with the answer. If you’re a parent, or if you have a partner, “getting away” can lead to some guilt, shame, regret — I shouldn’t want to get away from my kids, what kind of parent or partner am I? But I want to suggest, there’s no bad answer to “what do I need right now? What’s going to be helpful for me?” Let’s attend to, attune to the parts that are experiencing a need — even if it means that part isn’t immediately going to get its needs met. Sometimes the curious, compassionate, open act of noticing and listening to ourselves can lead to some space, some healing, some focused attention towards meeting that need.

Can you be curious with yourself and explore what is helpful for you right now?

What’s going to give you energy, life, what’s going to create a sensation and experience of “help” and “health” for you in this moment?

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