Common dysfunctions of families

Dysfunctional families can exhibit various patterns of behavior and communication that hinder healthy functioning and emotional well-being. While each family is unique in its dynamics, there are several common ways in which a family can become dysfunctional. When clients approach Progress Counseling for family therapy, one of our therapists will help assess goals, history, “what is the problem” and “how is it a problem.” For many families, there are multiple and sometimes conflicting experiences within the family system about whether there’s a problem, and what to do about it.

“Healing is safety, safety is healing,” is one of our mantras, and in keeping with this idea, Progress Counseling’s clinicians will work to help create a safe, healing environment in which the “dysfunctions” of a family can be articulated, noticed, and in the context of that clinical safety, healed.

For you who are thinking about getting into family / relationship therapy, it can be hard to know where to begin. In this post, the hope is that we can start to name some of the dynamics within the network of relationships — sometimes, by putting words to these things, noticing them, we can start to change them.

Here are seven prevalent examples of family dysfunction. As you consider these, remind yourself that every family is different. What may be functional for some is less-than-functional for others. What may have been effective for helping a person or a whole family survive may no longer be supportive of survival. That is to say, take a curious and non-judgmental approach as you view this “list of dysfunctions,” and from that compassionate and curious place we can start to explore what it means to be, feel, sense safety (and begin healing).

  1. Poor Communication: Communication is the cornerstone of healthy family dynamics. Dysfunctional families often struggle with effective communication. Family members may have difficulty expressing their needs, thoughts, and emotions clearly, leading to misunderstandings and unresolved conflicts. In such families, communication may be characterized by frequent arguments, shouting matches, or passive-aggressive behaviors, creating a tense and hostile environment. Poor communication hinders the development of trust, emotional intimacy, and healthy problem-solving within the family.
  2. Lack of Boundaries: Boundaries play a vital role in defining the limits and expectations within a family system. In dysfunctional families, boundaries are often blurred or nonexistent. Family members may have limited personal space, invade each other’s privacy, or fail to respect individual boundaries. This lack of boundaries can result in a loss of personal identity, confusion about roles and responsibilities, and an unhealthy enmeshment within the family. It becomes difficult for individuals to develop a sense of autonomy and establish healthy relationships outside the family unit.
  3. Substance Abuse and Addiction: Substance abuse and addiction within a family significantly contribute to dysfunction. The presence of addiction disrupts the family’s balance and stability, leading to emotional, financial, and psychological strain. Substance abuse issues can create an unpredictable and chaotic environment, where family members may experience feelings of guilt, shame, and helplessness. Trust is eroded, and family members often become preoccupied with managing and enabling the addict’s behavior, neglecting their own needs and well-being. This can lead to strained relationships, emotional distance, and a breakdown in family communication.
  4. Unresolved Conflict: Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but dysfunctional families struggle with resolving conflicts in a healthy manner. Instead of addressing and resolving issues constructively, conflicts in dysfunctional families often escalate or remain unresolved. Family members may avoid conflict altogether, fearing the consequences or further deterioration of the family dynamics. Alternatively, conflicts may become volatile and aggressive, with individuals attacking each other verbally, emotionally, or even physically. The lack of conflict resolution skills and the inability to find common ground perpetuate a cycle of repeated conflicts, bitterness, and a breakdown of trust and intimacy among family members.
  5. Emotional Neglect: Emotional neglect occurs when family members fail to provide the emotional support and nurturing needed for healthy development. In dysfunctional families, emotional neglect can take various forms. Family members may disregard or dismiss feelings, minimize emotions, or fail to acknowledge and validate individual needs. This neglect can result in emotional detachment, low self-esteem, and difficulties forming healthy relationships later in life. Individuals may struggle to express and manage their emotions, and may even question their own worth and value.
  6. Control and Manipulation: Dysfunctional families may be characterized by controlling and manipulative behaviors. One or more family members may exert excessive control over others, making decisions on their behalf and denying them autonomy. Manipulation tactics, such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or emotional blackmail, can be used to maintain power dynamics and prevent individual growth and independence. This control and manipulation can lead to a stifling and oppressive environment, where individuals feel powerless, unheard, and unable to make choices that align with their own needs and aspirations.
  7. Intergenerational Dysfunction: Dysfunction within families can span across generations. Unresolved issues, patterns of behavior, and unhealthy coping mechanisms can be passed down from one generation to another. For example, a child who grows up in a family with poor communication skills may struggle with effective communication in their adult relationships. Without intervention and awareness, these dysfunctional patterns continue, perpetuating a cycle of dysfunction within the family system. The intergenerational transmission of dysfunction can be challenging to break, as individuals may unknowingly repeat the same patterns they experienced during

Please reach out. We have counselors who specialize in families and relationships who would be happy to schedule a consultation, explore fit, and find ways to develop a course towards safety, healing.

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