1 00:00:01,773 --> 00:00:03,845 Aaron Kelsey with Progress Counseling I 2 00:00:04,009 --> 00:00:06,191 made a made a little post about.Some of 3 00:00:07,009 --> 00:00:08,609 the differences between and anxious 4 00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,627 thinking for people with anxiety and how 5 00:00:10,882 --> 00:00:12,136 they think a little different. And then 6 00:00:12,627 --> 00:00:13,827 as I was writing, I was like, wait a 7 00:00:13,827 --> 00:00:15,436 minute, this is leading into something 8 00:00:15,436 --> 00:00:17,200 much larger conversations.Towards the 9 00:00:18,364 --> 00:00:20,218 end of my post now Reclaim It here, 10 00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:22,045 there's a few differences between how 11 00:00:22,045 --> 00:00:23,391 people with anxiety thing.There's a lot 12 00:00:24,173 --> 00:00:25,945 of overlap between anxious thinking, 13 00:00:27,136 --> 00:00:28,455 people with trauma, people with 14 00:00:29,573 --> 00:00:31,864 Aisha. A lot of mental health symptoms 15 00:00:32,391 --> 00:00:35,118 overlap, a lot of diagnosis, around 80 16 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,509 CPT. A lot of these things overlap. 17 00:00:38,645 --> 00:00:39,964 One of the things that I want to 18 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:42,082 highlight in this video as it relates to 19 00:00:42,264 --> 00:00:44,945 therapy is healing is the safety, and 20 00:00:45,227 --> 00:00:46,818 safety is the healing.What's that mean 21 00:00:47,709 --> 00:00:49,482 for anxious thinking?And by the way, 22 00:00:50,782 --> 00:00:53,082 trauma it is depression. Some of these 23 00:00:53,545 --> 00:00:55,618 other diagnosis or or groups of 24 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:57,036 symptoms, whatever you want to call it, 25 00:00:57,655 --> 00:00:59,973 the experience of safety sometimes means. 26 00:01:01,482 --> 00:01:02,973 For the first time, you're able to feel 27 00:01:03,155 --> 00:01:04,982 safe enough to talk about.Not 28 00:01:06,064 --> 00:01:08,200 being safe, not feeling safe. Anxious 29 00:01:08,791 --> 00:01:11,064 example would be what if? What if I 30 00:01:11,536 --> 00:01:12,745 failed my job?But if I have a 31 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:15,582 bad day at my job, What if I have a bad 32 00:01:15,682 --> 00:01:17,336 year of my job? What if I lose my job? 33 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:19,964 What if I lose my job and I can't get 34 00:01:19,964 --> 00:01:22,091 another job, so the the safety 35 00:01:22,736 --> 00:01:25,509 piece is being able to sit with 36 00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:26,736 it?Can we?Be 37 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,264 safe.Enough, safe enough 38 00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:32,855 here and now.To notice 39 00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:36,191 ohh that yeah that would be bad. 40 00:01:38,145 --> 00:01:39,445 It would be bad to lose your job. It'd 41 00:01:39,618 --> 00:01:41,164 be. It'd be really bad. It would be 42 00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:43,145 scary. It might be shameful. It might 43 00:01:44,164 --> 00:01:46,073 it might feel like a failure. It might 44 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:46,873 be embarrassing. 45 00:01:50,782 --> 00:01:52,209 OK, can we sit with it?And then the 46 00:01:53,436 --> 00:01:55,327 sitting with it, facing it, we can 47 00:01:56,218 --> 00:01:58,145 add the story. We can go 48 00:01:58,891 --> 00:02:00,818 into our internal resources. Could that 49 00:02:01,273 --> 00:02:03,536 be OK if I was embarrassed and that way 50 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,582 I could I be OK if I was, if I was 51 00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:08,373 unsafe in that way? Could I could I be 52 00:02:08,491 --> 00:02:11,009 internally safe if something happened in 53 00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:12,636 my environment that that didn't feel 54 00:02:12,745 --> 00:02:14,782 safe? And there's.Is sort of 55 00:02:15,673 --> 00:02:17,536 this contradiction. Here we're 56 00:02:18,427 --> 00:02:20,227 talking about unsafety. Can we? 57 00:02:21,964 --> 00:02:24,127 Be safe.Together in the therapy 58 00:02:24,955 --> 00:02:26,464 room, together in the internal 59 00:02:27,427 --> 00:02:29,391 system, together in this shared space 60 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,645 that we have.Can we have enough safety 61 00:02:32,464 --> 00:02:34,336 between us to?To look at the things, to 62 00:02:35,173 --> 00:02:36,927 experience the things that are unsafe. 63 00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:38,236 It's really similar with trauma 64 00:02:38,236 --> 00:02:39,955 integration. Can we 65 00:02:40,891 --> 00:02:42,555 notice?How these memories are stored in 66 00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,664 our bodies? Can we 67 00:02:46,664 --> 00:02:49,191 re remember in in a way where it 68 00:02:49,427 --> 00:02:51,282 activates the memory a little bit and at 69 00:02:51,555 --> 00:02:53,845 the same time I'm I'm safe? 70 00:02:55,745 --> 00:02:57,118 Does that make sense? That's kind of my 71 00:02:57,618 --> 00:02:59,309 go to with clients and as I'm explaining 72 00:02:59,564 --> 00:03:01,382 it, I'm like that's very abstract. 73 00:03:01,545 --> 00:03:03,009 Another quick example just for the 74 00:03:03,009 --> 00:03:05,282 purposes of this video is I mentioned 75 00:03:05,718 --> 00:03:07,545 the cat catastrophe 76 00:03:07,545 --> 00:03:08,945 catastrophizing. 77 00:03:10,809 --> 00:03:12,445 The idea of kind of like I was talking 78 00:03:13,391 --> 00:03:14,627 about with the job, like what if what if 79 00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:15,900 I have a bad day? It leads to a bad 80 00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:17,973 year, or at least I lose my job leads to 81 00:03:18,109 --> 00:03:19,800 now I'm living outside or something. 82 00:03:21,591 --> 00:03:23,045 That'd be a catastrophe.So the the 83 00:03:24,555 --> 00:03:27,018 process is, can I 84 00:03:27,518 --> 00:03:29,709 hold that that part of me that is 85 00:03:29,845 --> 00:03:32,373 anxious and is going down this loop? And 86 00:03:32,664 --> 00:03:34,627 can I notice it gently? Can I be 87 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:36,973 curious with it? Can I check in with 88 00:03:37,336 --> 00:03:39,118 that part of me, similar to to how you 89 00:03:39,527 --> 00:03:40,764 might with a friend. So if you had a 90 00:03:41,227 --> 00:03:42,973 friend that was.Going down this rabbit 91 00:03:43,736 --> 00:03:45,618 trail of if this happens, then this 92 00:03:46,609 --> 00:03:47,627 happens, then this happens, then this 93 00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:49,100 happens.And then the world is ending. 94 00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:53,545 How would your friends?Want you to sit 95 00:03:54,291 --> 00:03:56,027 with him than that. Could you be gentle 96 00:03:57,155 --> 00:03:58,555 with them? Could you be curious with 97 00:03:58,727 --> 00:04:00,255 them? Could you be 98 00:04:01,564 --> 00:04:02,864 compassionate with them? And then 99 00:04:03,636 --> 00:04:05,600 generalizing that to yourself. So there 100 00:04:06,036 --> 00:04:07,664 there it is again, just the safety. 101 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,200 Can you be safe with yourself? While 102 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,845 while yourself is telling yourself, and 103 00:04:12,845 --> 00:04:14,336 there's a lot of selves here, there's 104 00:04:14,564 --> 00:04:15,745 part of me that feels unsafe.There's 105 00:04:17,364 --> 00:04:18,364 part of me that's noticing I feel 106 00:04:18,364 --> 00:04:20,900 unsafe. Can I have a part of me that's 107 00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:23,527 safe enough to sit with the unsafety and 108 00:04:23,745 --> 00:04:25,245 go?Ohh OK. 109 00:04:27,818 --> 00:04:29,209 Ohh, you're not OK.It's it's OK that 110 00:04:30,173 --> 00:04:31,382 you're not OK.We can just sit with that 111 00:04:32,227 --> 00:04:32,982 for a minute.This is 112 00:04:35,145 --> 00:04:37,364 a this is integration. This is 113 00:04:38,127 --> 00:04:40,500 bringing healing into the into the 114 00:04:40,627 --> 00:04:42,400 body. This is bringing safety into the 115 00:04:42,691 --> 00:04:44,427 into the body. Healing is the safety. 116 00:04:44,727 --> 00:04:46,173 Safety is the healing. That's the big 117 00:04:46,927 --> 00:04:48,436 idea here. If you have questions, if you 118 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,818 want to reach out, if you want to share 119 00:04:49,818 --> 00:04:51,636 your own experiences, please send your 120 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,182 comments, reach out, contact, 121 00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:57,309 contact us now. We do psychoeducation 122 00:04:57,691 --> 00:04:59,236 consulting and then obviously progress 123 00:04:59,236 --> 00:05:00,918 counseling does counseling. 124 00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:03,845 Yeah.And we have clinicians who are 125 00:05:04,936 --> 00:05:06,664 trained and bringing safety into the 126 00:05:07,082 --> 00:05:07,273 room.